The Trap of Only Doing What You’re Good At (and what to do about it)

In today’s high-achieving world, we’re often told to focus solely on what we’re already good at. Whether in work, hobbies, or social circles, the belief is that doubling down on our strengths leads to success. While focusing on strengths can build confidence, this pattern often reinforces avoidance behaviors that limit our growth. This isn’t just about tangible skills, it’s also about how our thought patterns shape our willingness to take risks and grow.

Why Staying in Your Comfort Zone Feels Safe (But Limits You)

1. Stagnation Through Safety Behaviors
   By focusing only on what you’re good at, you risk plateauing. You become the expert in one area but miss out on expanding your skill set. In the context of work be careful what area you’re becoming the “expert” in - is it something easily replaceable? Is it valuable to your future? Or is this skill more of a commodity that could be done by anyone?

   When we only practice what’s easy or what we already know, we engage in experiential avoidance - dodging discomfort at the cost of growth. One way to test if you’re engaging in experiential avoidance is to ask yourself: “Is this strength serving my values or long-term vision, or am I using it to avoid anxiety?”

2. Fear of Failure

   The more you excel in something, the greater the fear of looking incompetent when trying something new. This fear can stop you from exploring new paths and opportunities. We might have automatic thoughts like, “If I try something new, I’ll look incompetent,” or “I must always be perfect.” These are examples of cognitive distortions (i.e. all-or-nothing thinking) unhelpful thinking patterns that exaggerate the risks of stepping outside our comfort zone.

   Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps us recognize and challenge these distortions, encouraging us to replace them with more balanced, realistic thoughts, such as, “Trying new things is a way to learn, not a reflection of my worth.”

3. Creativity Blocked by Automatic Thoughts
   Innovation happens when we step outside our comfort zones. Focusing only on familiar strengths stifles creativity and leads to boredom. “I’m not creative enough to try this” is a classic negative automatic thought. Through cognitive restructuring, we can shift this to: “Creativity grows through practice, not perfection.” This flexibility is essential for problem-solving, innovation, and personal growth.

The Value of Trying and Failing

Failure is essential for growth. Trying new things—even at the risk of failing—teaches you valuable lessons:

1. Learning from Mistakes – Failure isn’t the end; it’s part of the learning process. Every mistake helps refine your approach and brings you closer to your goals.

2. Building Resilience – Each failure strengthens your ability to bounce back and adapt, making you more confident in facing future challenges.

3. Encouraging Innovation – Failure pushes you to take risks and think creatively, fostering new solutions and ideas.

How to Get Moving Through Cognitive Flexibility

CBT teaches us that cognitive flexibility-the ability to adapt our thinking to new challenges-is a skill we can strengthen. Here’s how to cultivate it:

1. Notice Cognitive Fusion
   When we say “I AM a failure”, we’re engaging in cognitive fusion: mistaking thoughts for absolute truths. Instead of believing “This mistake defines me”, pause and observe the thought as a passing mental event, not a fact.

2. Practice Defusion
   Defusion aims to create space between thoughts and emotions, and reduce their influence on behavior. You can practice defusion using a simple phrase such as
   “I’m having the thought that I’ll fail.” This defusion technique helps you to detach from negative thoughts, and reduces the power of fear-based thinking.

3. Engage in Values-Based Action
   Ask yourself:“What matters more right now-staying comfortable, or growing into the person I want to become?” Align your choices with your long-term values, not short-term fears or anxiety.

4. Use Socratic Questioning
   You can challenge limiting beliefs by asking:“Is this belief helpful or limiting?” or “What would I tell a friend in this situation?”. This method encourages self-compassion and perspective-shifting, helping you reframe rigid thinking.

Growth isn’t about eliminating fear — it’s about building the flexibility to act despite it. The pursuit of only what you’re good at might feel safer, but it’s the willingness to fail that drives the most meaningful progress. Through these and other CBT techniques, we learn to gently question our self-doubt, and take steps toward our future selves.